Bitter Candy

December has always been my favorite month & winter has always been my favorite season. Plenty of things has happened this month that were far from tradition, far from typical, far from ordinary. 4 weeks off from school started my break off well. Rain or shine I spent the first weeks waking up early to pick up Ryan from school, getting lost in LA, dealing with traffic, &falling asleep for hours. Worked nonstop for awhile due to holiday mall hours, but that only meant more $$$$. Broke tradition with secret santa & the giving of presents with my family. But the change was the best idea yet. Instead of giving and receiving presents this year, the cousins planned a series of events for us to bond and get closer together. The first was a lunch, and the second was the best: Mammoth from the 26th-29th. It was the best experience ever & I'm glad my boyfriend was able to share it with us. 

Yesterday, was my birthday. Started off with chopping off about 10inches of my hair then surprising (or scaring) Ryan at his door. He gave me the best card that contained the sweetest words and the most clever ideas. But it's something to expect from him, he's always been so creative when it came to things like that. Hungry ? Of course we were. Where'd we go ? AMI SUSHI of course. Sushi sushi sushi. It never fails us. Spicy yellowtail, spicy scallop, albacore appetizer, & 3 orders of yellowtail sushi (6pieces). Deeeeeelish. ! Went home to get ready for a dinner with my parents, then got flaked on. (explain later). I didn't have a car because it was getting repaired.. so Ryan offered to pick me up. (Thanks love.) He watched me fix my hair.. &it became the funniest part of my day. NO VOLUME. :D We went to the village, got some sh2o, & went off to our "dinner with his mom". We arrived to Banana Bay.. &found out that his "mom" were almost all of my friends that I have ever known. (ALMOST). It was a lovely surprise. Thank you to everyone who made it possible. It was my first surprise birthday ever..

But, of course.. when Ronylyn is happy.. something has to pull her down. You should have known not to show up to my birthday. Yeah, you're gone most of the time... but I loved it that way. You can apologize for the past all you want, but you've done too much to me for me to find it in my heart to ever forgive you. Maybe you have changed, but maybe you haven't. I don't have enough love for you to even find the strength in myself to even consider you as an acquaintance. Matter of fact, I have no love for you at all. No sympathy whatsoever. You ruined my 19th birthday. I wanted a birthday with friends, and you weren't one of them. &I could say that proudly no matter how much everyone else loves you. I DON'T. My life is PERFECTLY FINE without you in it. & YOU, sir, are a friend I'm glad I don't have. 

&Now, I refuse to go into the new year with a frown on my face. Whether I spend the countdown by myself or with someone.. I will be smiling. BECAUSE I FUCKING DESERVE TO.