Bounced Up

Things unexpectedly, or more surprisingly, turned out to be fine. Things are back to being better that ever. I'll say it proudly & confidently and just believe that it'll still be great when I wake up tomorrow. 

As always, spontaneity has always been my favorite. Unplanned adventurous days are probably the best days of my life. I'll post a more detailed update later when I don't have school in a few hours. But a quicky: Twilight cast, Paramore, LACMA, Los Angeles traffic, B. Mob, good grades, &LOVE. knock. (: !!

<3 

Official

I'm 100% positive that I could never be proud & just tell the world how good things are and how happy I've been. Because once it's been said everything comes crashing down. I've literally woken up every day praying that this day would never come. But with my luck, it happened. It's as if you just wanted to show me how happy I could be & said yup, well I'm not going to let you be this happy. You don't deserve it because "you're a bad person & you are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I want you to know that." I guess what makes it hurt more, is all the hope I had this time. How I reassured myself that this time is different & that my theory of how everytime things are so great with me that means something bad is going to happen isn't the case this time. But, I spoke to soon. It's exactly what it was. 

Guess this is what I deserve. Guess I was just an ignorant fool to believe that someone like me deserved the best. 

Holidays

are coming and I'm excited. Mall decorations are up & I got to swap the pictures on one of MagicStudio's display boards with Christmas pictures. I'm excited. December babies, aren't you excited ?! (: I'm hoping for an awesome December considering I'm on vacation 3 weeks out of the 4. All I really want for my birthday this year, is a cozy fun night with good friends. Sober or not. I just want everyone in one place. Lots of birthdays lately.. has me excited for mine. Makes me think too: Can't believe it's already been a year since my debut practices and almost a year since my debut.

But all I want, is a birthday like this :

or at least something close. I've always said that I missed high school, but I guess what I miss the most is the carefree lives we lived. 

Bad omens

all day long 

from the minute 

I woke up. 

Woke up to runaway new papa Cody. Dilemmas &gold-diggin' beandips left and right. Bad attitudes from almost everyone I spoke to. Califires too close to nearby cities. Hot hot fire heat. Slow day at work. Stupid mistakes. &Paperjams. Loved-less. Oohmy ): 

Ended the night with crisscrosses, dinner with love, &1hr naps..

Time to sleep. Hoping to wake up to a better day today. 

work 1-7. visit.

...work 1-8 ! ): whatever.... $$$$$

Knock On Wood

Seriously, I have the worst luck when it comes to jinxing myself. I do believe that every time something good happens, something bad is bound to happen real soon. Yet when something bad does happen, good things just seem so distant. &Right now, I fear that belief of mine. Why? Because recently things in my life have been slowly falling into place and I hate the thought of everything going downhill. I wish I could just let everyone know how great things are going without having that thought about "Did I just jinx myself again?" But here I am taking that risk &letting it be known that I'm happy. My life still has its struggles of course, but I'm happy. I have a boyfriend who loves me &is there to talk to when I feel like I just can't take all the stress anymore and just want to break down. I spend little time at home yet when I AM home, it seems like my relationship with my parents is getting healthier lately. I've been more determined &focused lately and it's going a long way.

Halloween was fun. Lovebug & a NinjaTurtle. Borrowed & made. The weather has been lovely. Aside from the random humidity days, the cold yet sunny weather is amazing. I love the colorful skies &the fluffy clouds. Real life painting is what it is. Got more hours for work this past weekend & unexpectedly got to work with both Kim and Becca. (: That was fun for sure. Volunteer hours are slowly stackinn up. I guess the only constant stressful factor in my life is &always will be.. SCHOOL. Microbio is probably the hardest science class I have ever taken in my life. I've spent countless hours studying for that class and my grades have been average &below average. Disappointing and frustrating. But..I just have to keep on trying & do what I gotta do. And of course.. there's ceramics. Ceramics, ceramics, ceramics.. you have taken up TOO MUCH of my time. My midterm is due on Wednesday. Supposed to be 17inches and I went from 4inches to 14inches in one day. :) PROGRESS.

Payday was delayed. ButSOON the following WILL happen:
-fix my bike or buy a bike
-sell my bike to buy a new bike
-sell winterformal & prom dresses
-shopping for winter season <333333
-buy lens(es)

I love with my life is content like this.
God, please oh please don't let a jinx happen.
Please don't take any of this away. ):
THANKS<3 !